On the weekend I went to this awesome scripture union camp for leaders, and people who want to be leaders. It was tones of fun I learnt some things and also didn’t get much sleep! Haha.
Anyway, I was on the camp to learn to be a leader, and I wasn’t really expecting to learn much on this short camp, as I have been a kind of part time leader before on other scripture union camps and I have grown up going to all different types of scripture union camps, so I was expecting this camp to be just normal, nothing special.
CRICKEY! I was so wrong, God taught me many things on this camp, things that have been bothering me for a while, and things that I have kept away from because I didn’t understand.
It’s funny how we can expect things yet God just swoops in unexpectedly and turns our world upside down. Haha sometimes I feel like he does these things on purpose just to make me remember that He is in control and life is completely uncontrollable for us!
I wont blab on about the whole story but I will tell you the highlights of a few things.
First off, God taught me a little bit of humility and also maybe a bit of un-‘girl power,’ this may not make any sense but let me tell that story.
Ok so I’m happily sitting at breakfast with my friends, a boy my age came over and sat next to me with his friend, he started talking with us and somehow we got onto the topic of wives and he was telling us about being a good wife, me and a friend were saying/complaining/laughing about how bad we are at cooking and ironing, we were totally mucking around and laughing at ourselves. We can kind of cook but its best we don’t, haha.
After hearing our funny situation the boy then said to me and my friend that we are unfit women because we can’t cook and sew and iron, he then said we will make bad wives!
Now for some that’s nothing, but to me that was a slap in the face!
I have always been told by my Aunty that I have too much ‘girl power.’ And that I should tone it down a bit, (Not happening) I am also one of those people who cannot stand being told what I can and can’t do!
So I took a deep breath took it on the chin and left it, I didn’t retaliate or say anything nasty, I was just quite unhappy with him.
Later on that day we were sitting in the hall, there was a spare set next to me and guess who sat in it, yep, he did! Mr ‘you’re not good enough.’ I looked over at him gave a little smile whilst in my head I’m think, “YOU GRR!”
The speaker is talking away and he told us to stand, he then said “If someone needs prayer then I want you to sit down, and the people around you to pray for you”, that very instant I had this feeling that this boy was going to sit down, I turned and yep, he was sitting.
When I saw him sitting I had this huge feeling that God was wanted me to pray for this boy, I was a bit like, “Are you sure God? I mean I don’t pray well out loud in front of others, and he was mean to me.” But God told me to do it so I did it, besides I had instant compassion on him when I saw him sitting.
That compassion then became mercy and love as I sat down next to him and looked in his eyes, he looked up at me, his eyes were full of tears and the edges of his eyes were red. My heart broke a little when I saw this, he looked at me with a hint of worry and fear as he knew who I was and that most people would not have even thought nicely towards him after what he said. I smiled sweetly asked for his name and bowed my head. I didn’t and still don’t know what he was or is going through, but God gave me the words, it was as if my mouth was moving and it was my voice but God was placing the words on my lips and I just went on and on. It was the longest, most meaningful and best pray I have ever prayed out loud in front of others. My cheeks were red and I started getting a little hot, cause I just don’t do that kind of stuff and something, God, just came over me, it was amazing.
As I finished I looked back up at the boy and his whole vibe changed, his face had lit up to gratefulness, he said thankyou with a huge amount of feeling behind it. I couldn’t help but smile back feeling pretty good about myself but also a little puzzled.
HUMILITY! You got to love it!
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
James 4:10
Second lesson was letting go, and letting/realising that God is in control.
Ok so after I had prayed for the boy and learnt a bit of humility and trust in God. I had another moment were God really impacted me majorly. He threw me out of my comfort zone and I had to trust him entirely, I had to just let go of the controls and let him take charge.
I have always been an independent girl I work well in a team but I have always been like, I can do it, I don’t need anyone’s help, I don’t need a man to keep me happy, yadda yadda.
And this is all good and everything, nothing wrong with independence, but sometimes when we are trying to be strong for ourselves and others, we forget or don’t realise that God is sitting beside us in the co-pilots set. He is patiently waiting for us to realise that we have no control on the steering wheel of life; we think we have to do this on our own because there is no auto pilot and no one else can do this but you, when he is right beside us, waiting, watching, and hinting.
No matter how strong and independent we are, we still need God. We can’t do it on our own, we just can’t, it’s much too hard, and we don’t need to feel bad about letting God take the wheel, because he knows what he is doing, he has been the pilot of billions of other life plans, and he has never crashed. The ones that do crash are those who have kicked the co-pilot (should be pilot) out completely.
Eventually when as I was sitting amongst everyone, I was freaking out a lot because I was out of my comfort zone and I had no idea what God was doing, what his plan was, I have always known what God is/was doing in my life or know that what he is putting me through I will learn from.
But this time, I had no flipping idea! I couldn’t understand how my plane could be tumbling in the air hurdling to the ground when I have always kept God so close. I was completely out of control, it had been a reasonably smooth flight till then and I hadn’t realised that along the way I had swapped seats with God, and I was trying to control my life without him, again.
The minute I realised I prayed, I said, “God I give up, I cannot do this on my own, this is to crazy, and hard. Please take back control, I am once again giving my life back to you, I’m sorry I thought I could do it on my own, but I can’t.”
After I prayed I felt at peace, my body relaxed and this feeling of great peace and calmness came over me, Thankyou God!
If he can do this for me, I guarantee he will and can do it for you also. Go ahead, relax for a while, life is uncontrollable and to nuts to be doing it on your own.
He promises a safe landing not a smooth flight.
