Feeling lost.

For a little while now I have been feeling lost, and I have been asking myself and also God, what is happening? Why have I been feeling this way?

It hit me yesterday, the only time that I have felt lost is when I have been keeping God out if my life, when I let the world get to me.

I was feeling lost when I was listening to my friends telling me that I need to get myself out there more, go out on dates with cute strangers. When I let the attention and excitement of guys chasing me and me searching/ longing to be loved, only then in these times did I feel lost, because I was keeping God out. When I went to make decisions I didn't think or ask God what he wanted, or what he was thinking.

But then I come back to this loving God who is merciful and grand and though I do not deserve His love and grace I feel complete, safe, happy and at peace. Whereas the world may have been exciting it left me with this sadness that I was not good enough that I have to be a certain way to be accepted... well if that is the case then I don’t want to be accepted ever by the world.

I long for something much more fulfilling, I long for so much more than a petty night life lived out every weekend, no, God has so much more planned, so much fulfillment in the path He has set up for me, and I need to stop being such a fool and come back and focus on the most important thing, and that is God.

That other life, the world, it is empty, but God is forever.

I don’t need anything that this world offers, all I need is God, and that is all that I want.

What is it that you want? What do you keep searching for? Do you keep ending up with this emptiness inside your heart? In your soul?

Because I know someone who has the power to give your life Hope and meaning, no one is a mistake.

We all have paths that we can choose to take, what will be your choice? 

Your choice.

I recently meet up with someone, they where inspiring and fun but this person has a serious history, well we all have a history, and every ones history is very different.

It was interesting we got talking and we chatted for hours, we shared some of our story with each other, and though our stories are both very different, at the same time we connected with many things as the end result of our struggles or circumstances throughout life ended up being similar.

But near the end this person said to me, ‘wow, you are so innocent....I guess you haven’t gone off the rails yet.’

At the time I just laughed, but that really got me thinking, will I go off the rails? Will I just snap one day and drift from God?

No, I don’t think I ever will, God has become and been my foundation, he is my roots, and that is the way I have decided to live my life and I could never be happier.

I know there are a lot of people who think that if you are a Christian that you just don’t know how to have fun, because our God holds us back... but that is complete rubbish!

I mean I love fun, ha-ha fun is fun! I love being crazy, letting my hair out, dancing, singing, going to a party, I love that stuff and God has never stopped me from enjoying life, He has shown me how to enjoy it with this peace and freedom.  But there are some things God tells me to keep away from, not because He doesn't want me to enjoy myself but because He knows that I may enjoy myself for a second, but once that moment is over, He knows that I would be left with this emptiness, hurt and anguish from something that may look good but is plain bad.

There are so many people with one foot in each world, I’m sorry but you can’t have both, and until you realize or change you will never stop, because you will just keep searching and searching constantly wanting more, wanting the next best thing. And that is just so draining; some of us really need to relax and take a deep breath.

“Be still and know that I am God”- Psalm 49:10

‘You can’t ride two horses with one backside.’ (quote from Sweet Home Alabama)

I hope that this will challenge you and it would be great if you could really think about this with God, go to your favorite place, take a bible and listen.