Week two semester two, and I have already had a little break
down. This uni course is one of the most intense things I have ever undertaken;
I have a 25 day prac in a week and an assignment due on the very same day.
Yeah, crazy. But hey, after I finish this semester I am done, which is very
exciting.
My last post was a bit of an eye opener to what I have been
going through this year, and for those who read the last post, God came through
for me with financial support and it is such a weight off! I am so grateful to
Him and all your thoughts and prayers, thank you.
I am in shock that I completed last semester and passed
everything! But that was God working through me, seriously! (And much needed help
from family and friends). I am always asking Him why me? I do not understand
why He picked me for this, becoming a teacher, and completing this course, I am
not an academic person. But I have faith that he will get me through, I am
constantly asking for His strength and patience during this time, and of
course, His peace.
I am reminded of Gideon and Moses, not saying that I am
going to do anything epic like lead an army, but I am reminded of their self
doubt and asking God, why me? There are so many others who could complete the
task you ask of me much better than I ever could.
“And he said to him,
Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in
Manasseh, and I am the least in my fathers house.” – Judges 6:15.
“But Moses said to
God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out
of Egypt?”” – Exodus 3:11.
God’s response?
“He said, “But I will
be with you.”” – Exodus 3:12.
I will be with you, wow, I fail to understand how those
words sooth an anxious heart, but they do.
Being the anxious control freak that I am, I like to know
what my future has in store, but in order to know that I need to be in control
of my life and everything that goes with it, however, God does not ask that of
me, He never has, He asks the opposite of all of us. Surrender.
“Be still, and know
that I am God.” – Psalms 46:10.
“Do not be anxious
about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving
let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses
all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” –
Philippians 4:6-7.
We think that knowing the future and having control will give
us peace, but does it really? In my experience it certainly doesn’t. Surrendering
is not an easy task, but it is rewarding, and God can do amazing things through
you if you give it all to Him. Just never forget who got you through.
