There is so much emotional pain in this world, too much if
you ask me.
I had this beautiful friend, Simon, he was awesome, there
was never a dull moment with him around and he could always make you smile, and
he loved to do so.
But Simon had a hard life and he was in more emotional pain
then most people may encounter, and it didn’t help that he often kept it to
himself, as he usually thought more about others.
He would take the pain he was going through and pass it onto
a blade that he would place on his wrists, he would come to school and you
could see the lines under the hairs on his arms.
Last year near Christmas, Simon choose to take a path that I
wish people never took/take, he made the decision to take his own life, tho
this path may seem the best option, it’s not, he should have given himself
another chance, a chance to enjoy life not just scrape by, and God is more than
capable of providing the help you need and blessing you. God is just patiently
waiting and waiting for us to run back into his arms, like a lost child
returning home.
I can’t help but ask God the question, why didn’t you do
anything? Why didn’t you stop him?
To be truly honest I
have no idea, though I know and am glad that God knows.
This is something that has impacted me like someone walking
into a glass door, you never see it coming but when it hits, it HITS! It’s
taking me a while to come to terms with it, but in a way I feel and know that I
never will... not so much the fact he is gone but of how he left, it is
something that tares at your heart every time you are reminded.
And yes, of course I do blame myself, I can’t help it, ‘if
only I had been there for him more, If only I had spoken to him every time I
thought of him, If only he knew how much I cared for him... if only.’ Now there
are some dangerous words,’ if only.’
But here’s the thing, unfortunately, if someone doesn’t want
to be helped, you can’t help them! But you can certainly try and let them know how you
feel.
Though through all of this, I feel as though God is bringing
me to a turning point, and one that will fulfil his purpose for me, what is it exactly?
Well I don’t know yet, but I guess that’s the fun in it.
But I know for sure, that I am going to do all I can to help
others, the lost and the depressed the rich and the poor, I truly want to do
all I can, because I will not let it happen again!
I think at times we underestimate God, we don’t know how
many angels he has sent our way just to sit beside us as our tears fell to the
floor, or how many have had to fend off our enemies that would whisper lies in
our ears that we would foolishly believe.
We keep staring at a dark spec of a picture when we should
be looking through Gods eyes, and seeing the whole miraculous masterpiece of
our life!
Yes your life, the one God picked out, the life that God has
carefully weaved and planned for good, to bless you and fulfil his purpose.
God catches every tear in the palm of His hands, and he
can’t wait for the day that He gets to wipe the tears from your eyes.
‘Make your smile change the world,
but don’t let the world change your smile!’-Unknown
