Feeling lost.

For a little while now I have been feeling lost, and I have been asking myself and also God, what is happening? Why have I been feeling this way?

It hit me yesterday, the only time that I have felt lost is when I have been keeping God out if my life, when I let the world get to me.

I was feeling lost when I was listening to my friends telling me that I need to get myself out there more, go out on dates with cute strangers. When I let the attention and excitement of guys chasing me and me searching/ longing to be loved, only then in these times did I feel lost, because I was keeping God out. When I went to make decisions I didn't think or ask God what he wanted, or what he was thinking.

But then I come back to this loving God who is merciful and grand and though I do not deserve His love and grace I feel complete, safe, happy and at peace. Whereas the world may have been exciting it left me with this sadness that I was not good enough that I have to be a certain way to be accepted... well if that is the case then I don’t want to be accepted ever by the world.

I long for something much more fulfilling, I long for so much more than a petty night life lived out every weekend, no, God has so much more planned, so much fulfillment in the path He has set up for me, and I need to stop being such a fool and come back and focus on the most important thing, and that is God.

That other life, the world, it is empty, but God is forever.

I don’t need anything that this world offers, all I need is God, and that is all that I want.

What is it that you want? What do you keep searching for? Do you keep ending up with this emptiness inside your heart? In your soul?

Because I know someone who has the power to give your life Hope and meaning, no one is a mistake.

We all have paths that we can choose to take, what will be your choice? 

Your choice.

I recently meet up with someone, they where inspiring and fun but this person has a serious history, well we all have a history, and every ones history is very different.

It was interesting we got talking and we chatted for hours, we shared some of our story with each other, and though our stories are both very different, at the same time we connected with many things as the end result of our struggles or circumstances throughout life ended up being similar.

But near the end this person said to me, ‘wow, you are so innocent....I guess you haven’t gone off the rails yet.’

At the time I just laughed, but that really got me thinking, will I go off the rails? Will I just snap one day and drift from God?

No, I don’t think I ever will, God has become and been my foundation, he is my roots, and that is the way I have decided to live my life and I could never be happier.

I know there are a lot of people who think that if you are a Christian that you just don’t know how to have fun, because our God holds us back... but that is complete rubbish!

I mean I love fun, ha-ha fun is fun! I love being crazy, letting my hair out, dancing, singing, going to a party, I love that stuff and God has never stopped me from enjoying life, He has shown me how to enjoy it with this peace and freedom.  But there are some things God tells me to keep away from, not because He doesn't want me to enjoy myself but because He knows that I may enjoy myself for a second, but once that moment is over, He knows that I would be left with this emptiness, hurt and anguish from something that may look good but is plain bad.

There are so many people with one foot in each world, I’m sorry but you can’t have both, and until you realize or change you will never stop, because you will just keep searching and searching constantly wanting more, wanting the next best thing. And that is just so draining; some of us really need to relax and take a deep breath.

“Be still and know that I am God”- Psalm 49:10

‘You can’t ride two horses with one backside.’ (quote from Sweet Home Alabama)

I hope that this will challenge you and it would be great if you could really think about this with God, go to your favorite place, take a bible and listen. 

Worn.

The truth is, some days and moments I am just struggling.

With what? I’m not too sure exactly, life I guess, and what can be thrown at you.

I’m just Worn.

On the outside I am fine, but the inside is another story, it can be so easy to put on a smile and get on with your day not letting anyone know you need the help.

These words from Tenth Avenue North’s song Worn, explain it all perfectly.

v  Soul feels crushed by the weight of this world,

v   I’m too weak, life just won’t let up,

v  My heart is heavy,

v  Cry out with all that I have left.

v  I’m worn, even before the day begins

v  Lost the will to fight

These words stand out for me the most; perhaps you feel it to, maybe even more often.

But there is hope, there is always hope, because I know that God can give me rest, and He dose, when I feel this way I pray and ask God to hold my heart, and I feel peace. Having calmness around you is not peace, but having troubles and storms surrounding you yet you have God beside you rapping His arms around you, that is real peace.

v  Struggle ends

v  You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn.

v  All that is dead inside can be reborn

v  Redemption win

I am always amazed with Gods’ power and will to help little old me, He is the one who gets me through the day, He is the reason I have dreams and the one who will help me get there. And He can be all that for you.

Best of all, we are free to struggle.

‘Wait what? Free to struggle?!’

Yes, at times with certain situations we can struggle, we can want to give up and we can get angry and upset, but in the end we need to rise above it.

Did you know that when there is a big nasty storm, the eagle fly’s up very high above the storm and glides in the wind waiting for the storm to end, pretty cool huh?

Just like the eagle, we need to rise above it! If it must change you then let it make you a bigger and better person.

The very thing that dragged you down is going to lift you up!- Dumbo

You have the key.

It is better to Light a candle than to Curse the darkness. – Peter Benenson

It took me a very long time to make sense of and understand this quote; at first I actually thought there was a spelling error or something like it.

But I understand it now, why complain and curse something when you have the means to change it, fix it?

It is not always about the situation but your attitude towards it. So many of us feel trapped by our circumstances, our lives and we don’t realize that we actually have the key.

Sometimes the mountain you have been climbing is just a grain of sand- Carrie Underwood.

Some of us have this great imagination that can sometimes make situations much worse then what they actually are. Close your eyes, take a breath, and let it go. Though this is easier said than done with some things... be strong... you can make it through this day, even the next, it will and can be hard, extremely difficult at times as the world around us just keeps going not seeming to care or even want to help.

But keep your chin up, we can be blessed by wonderful people who truly do care and a God who I know definitely cares.

Give all your cares to God, for He cares about you.- 1 Peter 5:7

Stay strong, don’t wait for life’s moments, but make every moment count!

Take a break.

I just wanted to share with you something I had written down a while ago when I was having a very hard time at my old job.

‘I wish I were one of those people who never let things that aren't there problem get to them. But I’m not, I need to adapt and live my life to my personality. And not try to do/be someone I simply am not.’

This is so true for all of us, thankfully we are all different, we all have certain gifts and talents as well as things we just are not good at. We need to recognize these things and live our lives towards them... Not so much so that we lose touch with the world and become selfish, but so we do not harm ourselves anymore.

Sometimes we need a little break, we need to stop and take a deep breath. There is nothing wrong with doing this, it can be something we really need as well as something others will need because what happens on the inside eventually shows on the outside.

Try and fill your life with things that are good for the soul. Laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, drink from your favorite cup, dare to dream, breath in the life around you and enjoy each of life’s little delights, because before you know it, the happiness may be gone for a while or maybe even a long time.

It’s good to have a break before you have a break down, so enjoy your break and have a magical day. :)