Surrender- meaning to give up or hand over.

Week two semester two, and I have already had a little break down. This uni course is one of the most intense things I have ever undertaken; I have a 25 day prac in a week and an assignment due on the very same day. Yeah, crazy. But hey, after I finish this semester I am done, which is very exciting. 

My last post was a bit of an eye opener to what I have been going through this year, and for those who read the last post, God came through for me with financial support and it is such a weight off! I am so grateful to Him and all your thoughts and prayers, thank you.

I am in shock that I completed last semester and passed everything! But that was God working through me, seriously! (And much needed help from family and friends). I am always asking Him why me? I do not understand why He picked me for this, becoming a teacher, and completing this course, I am not an academic person. But I have faith that he will get me through, I am constantly asking for His strength and patience during this time, and of course, His peace.

I am reminded of Gideon and Moses, not saying that I am going to do anything epic like lead an army, but I am reminded of their self doubt and asking God, why me? There are so many others who could complete the task you ask of me much better than I ever could.

“And he said to him, Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my fathers house.” – Judges 6:15.

“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”” – Exodus 3:11.

God’s response?

“He said, “But I will be with you.”” – Exodus 3:12.

I will be with you, wow, I fail to understand how those words sooth an anxious heart, but they do.

Being the anxious control freak that I am, I like to know what my future has in store, but in order to know that I need to be in control of my life and everything that goes with it, however, God does not ask that of me, He never has, He asks the opposite of all of us. Surrender.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalms 46:10.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7.

We think that knowing the future and having control will give us peace, but does it really? In my experience it certainly doesn’t. Surrendering is not an easy task, but it is rewarding, and God can do amazing things through you if you give it all to Him. Just never forget who got you through.